finding my own words, my own little stage. my own epic drama, my own scripted page.

goodpressbadpress

2008-02-23T18:19:00.000+08:00

goodpressbadpress.wordpress.com

i am weird.

2008-01-04T04:56:00.000+08:00

If you think it's bullshit, it probably is. Here, i explain bullshit with even more bullshit. Sorry.

Colour of an object is the significance, reason. Every object has a colour because of some meaning.

Green wedding dresses are not common, so when the bride wears the green dress as it presents her the status of a queen on the day of her marriage because she likes the dress to be green in colour and the queen get what she wants.

Thus the green colour shows the signifiance of her being like a queen during her marriage.

Simmy gave him a shirt of brown because he likes that particular brown shirt or he likes shirts which are brown in colour.

The shirt is brown and not any other colour in colour because Simmy knows he likes brown shirts and in order to want him to be happy, he bought him a shirt that is brown in colour.

Chrysanthemums are yellow because it represents peace and mellow-ness.
Chrysanthemums cannot be any other colour because for example if its red, the significance of "peace and mellow-ness" won't be there

Being a plumber, you are probably drenched with sewage and sweat. Jane doesn't care. Jane's lips are pink because she applied lipstick or lipgloss. Jane wanted to be beautiful for Don because she loves Don. Thus the pink on jane's lips represents the love she has for Don.

Claire's car is maroon because claire is born from a rich family. I used maroon on a car because i think maroon looks weird on a car and i don't think its that common. Her dad would need to pay additional cash for a paint job on the car. Thus Maroon colour represents, the silver spoon Claire has and the rich family she's born into.

Yeah, red and blue. The relationship between me and my mom. =D

colours

2008-01-04T04:30:00.000+08:00

If a woman's wedding dress is green,
the colour shows a wish of a queen.
On a birthday, he got a shirt of brown,
Simmy said to him, "I wish, gone are all your frowns."

Chrysanthemums so peaceful and mellow,
The garden decided to grow them yellow.
Plumber Don came home smelling stink
Jane's heart grew fonder,kissed him with lips of pink.

Claire wanted a car of maroon,
The yearning was met with a silver spoon.
If my room curtains are blue,
its probably cause my mom wants it red

sometimes, my world doesn't have 64 colours.
there's only black, white and you.
In my box of crayons, there's a colour i really could use,
the colour of you.

Every colour has a reason, you are my reason.

The Last Song.

2007-12-31T22:39:00.000+08:00

The Last Song for the last day of the year. =D

This may be the last thing that I write for long
Can you hear me smiling when I sing this song,
for you and only you

As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye?
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye?
My foot is out the door, and you can't stop me now

You wanted the best
It wasn't me
Will you give it back?
Now I'll take the lead
When there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again
You'll pretend you're naive
Is this what you want?
Is this what you need?
How you end up? Let me know

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope,
That you will miss me when I'm gone
This is the last song

The hearts start breaking as the year is gone
The dream's beginning and the time rolls on
It seems so surreal
And now I sing it

Somehow I knew that it would be this way,
Somehow I knew that it would slowly fade.
And now I am gone
Just try and stop me now.

You wanted the best
It wasn't me
Will you give it back?
Now I'll take the lead
When there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again
You'll pretend you're naive
Is this what you want?
Is this what you need?
How you end up? Let me know

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope,
That you will miss me when I'm gone
This is the last song.

Will you need me now, you'll find the way somehow
You want it too, I want it too.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope,
That you will miss me when I'm gone
The last song.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope,
That you will miss me when I'm gone
This is the last song.

this is karen tan, not rodney tan.

2007-12-27T23:51:00.000+08:00

yups, i just felt like blogging and thus,
my kind friend permitted me to do my blogging
here.

well, nth much. holidays have been busy. and i started
to miss home more. i rather stay home then to be out.
i m starting to realize the fun being at home the whole day.
school is too much of a boredom with those books and projects.
friends are the best.
tml would be a celebration for rodney tan's 18th birthday.
a day earlier than the supposed 29th.
doesn't matter so long rodney tan is happy.=)

i'm done. and thanks rod.HAHA.

there is often a fear within that sets me trembling,
pain that kills me slowly.

Reason Why,

2007-12-22T03:40:00.000+08:00

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
And we hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face
From coast to coast, or where ever I find my place
I'll track you on the radio, and
I'll find your list in a different name
But as close as I get to you
It's not the same

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
As say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best
To cover the tracks that I have left
I wish you well and hope you find
Whatever you're looking for
The way I might've changed my mind,
But you only showed me the door

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back
And say that we tried
And if one of us makes it big
We can spill our regrets
And talk about how the love never dies
But you and I, you and I, you and I know the reason why.

This is something beyond beauty. Just take 7 mins to listen to this. It's probably one of the most beautiful songs i ever heard.

here comes summer, no its winter.

2007-12-20T02:30:00.000+08:00

I'm really, really bored. MTV plays "Black Songs", my external hard disk of movies is spoilt and i have pratically nothing to do. lalala. help me.

Faces of my friends.

2007-12-16T13:33:00.001+08:00

This is how my friends look like.

stop and stare.

2007-12-15T20:02:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g1CzN35kn0
Stop and Stare - OneRepublic

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be

Common test : The test of time.

2007-12-15T17:52:00.000+08:00

The tests are done and dusted. The same tingling feeling of not being able to do well. I just want to thank everybody who have actually helped me, one way or another. Yeah, if i were to write names, the list will be never ending.

Shows my level of intelligence.

I don't really know what to write about so i have to be particually random.

Anyway i think that time is the biggest test of many things. We all have beliefs and values. How many days it takes before you change?

They say that time will show the true colours of a person. Sometimes i think its not about the true colours of a person, but time actually expose the weaknesses of an individual.

Maturity is not like puberty or part of puberty. Puberty happens when your body has gone through a certain phrase of time and change happens and time passes. Maturity has is the growth of character and the change in the mechanisms of perspective. A person matures when he see enough and experiences enough situations to see things in "a larger picture" or a different point of view.

Thus puberty increases as time increases whereas maturity increases as "number of significant happenings an individual experiences" increases.

That's why you see young boys at the age of 10 being independent. Its not that they are not asking questions or they do not fear. It's just that they probably see the explanations to the questions, nevermind if they cannot get an answer.

This is why, you still see 18 year-old drama queens and wannabe's. "Bimbotic" people and people who always have the aura of "stuck-upness" around them. It all boils down to the age of the mind, maturity.

The sentence, "Woah, 18 year old already still so childish." says a lot. Age of body doesn't coordinates with age of mind. You can be 60 thinking like 16.

Anyway, 4 paragraphs up, when i said "number of significant happenings an individual experiences", it actually meant "shit in their lives."

Yes, some people have just not been through shit in their lives.
We are living in a shit-hole. =D

Oh yeah, the biggest insult.

*On the phone with shuxian while we were studying HRM*
*She find HRM to be rather difficult and having some problems.*
*I could sense frustration*

Then she said " Eh, I think HRM you can do better than me lah."

Thanks eh.

* Shuxian, don't be so predictable and tag "hahahas", "no problem" and a smiley.

Important people

2007-11-27T10:52:00.000+08:00

We needn't be around each other every second.
The memory that serves of you will be there to remind me of the times.
The times include the advice, the golden moments, the valued lessons.
We, we need to walk a different path.
Each different path would bring us different times.

In the end, you would still be the one who knows me well.
You wouldn't need questions for my answers.
Every time, when we meet, we seem to be older.
Lesser the laughters, more the smiles.

I may get sick of home,
but there's a saying "Home is where the heart is"

To the world, we may be ugly before,
But only we know, what the world is missing.
Now that we are beautiful,
We know what's missing.

It's always true, you'll never miss home until you do.

My Dad.

2007-11-04T19:53:00.000+08:00

I just came back from Malaysia. I actually went there to celebrate my grandparents' birthday. Anyway, this post is about my Dad. My Dad has been a huge part of what i am today, good or bad, its up to you to judge.

Anyway, my dad actually brought his girlfriend home to the family. He brought them over to the family dinner

I liked how he drive his car at 210km/h and how the passengers in the car could sleep peacefully without a care.

I liked how he walloped me with the belt every time i lost my little baby temper.

I liked how he race on the highway, how he races his car.

I liked how he singed "Living Next Door To Alice" and he rocked the whole house.

I liked how to he dared to bring his girlfriend home with my grandparents' previous objection.

I liked how charismatic he is speaking with such confidence.

I liked how he dared to come to Singapore from a humble little town to search for a better living, a better life

I am glad you thought me to have the strength to believe but never once you forced a certain belief in me. I'm happy that you treat me like an adult, giving me this form of respect. You showed me your values thru your actions and not teachings. You didn't lecture, you act.

You once said that you had to leave and i would understand someday. I thought what you said was just bullshit and that you just didn't know how to explain it or know is there even an explanation.

I think i finally knew enough to understand why you had to leave. Whatever doesn't kills me makes me stronger anyway. I guess those dark painful days are over, now we both have our separate lives to live.

I'll always be thankful for the values you instilled within me, even with the short years we've spent together, I'm sure those values are enough to last me this lifetime.

You may be short physically, but you are always one man i'll look up to. I am grateful you are my dad.

There's always a part of you that lives in me.

And I thank you for that.

I'll always love that modest little town that grandma and grandpa stays in.

Things used to be simple.

2007-09-22T02:41:00.000+08:00

Things used to be simple,
Under fair weather,
We spent all our time together.
We could laugh at the slightest,
We definetly were the happiest.

Our priorities do change.

We now have egos to feed.
Impressions we must make
Friends we need to sake
Hell, we could even be fake.

Time could change it all
Time did build a wall.

I'm just reminiscing.

The science of selling yourself short.

2007-08-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,"Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems

I'll sing along,Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy

I could be an expert on co-dependency,I could write the best book on underage tragedy,
I've been spending my time at the local liquor store,I've been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor,
So I sit and wait and wonder,"Does anyone else feel like me?"
I'm so overdosed on apathy and burnt out on sympathy

Let the meaning slip away
Lost my faith in another day,
Self deprication seems okay,
I never thought I'd make it anyway.

Through it all.

2007-08-25T16:03:00.000+08:00

The exams are finally over.

It's been a hectic,tiresome awful period with many things to take out from. I know that this exams will be a definite screw-up but i am not feeling that bad. Those days are just unforgettable, fun and i wouldn't take them back even if i could.

During this period of time, i feel that i'm actually endowed with such good friends. I want to thank every single one of you, every single hair that has born in you, every single drip of blood in you, every single blood cell that your blood has, every single good, that comes from the core of your heart.

During moments when i'm feel so fucked-up, I wanna thank you all for
TRYING to make me laugh.lol. (Tickle me lah. please.)
Of cause, tutoring me (the dumbest guy on earth)
taking care of me when i'm sick.
the unlimited laughter u guys bring, espcially during the MRT game.
the totally random "good lucks"
asking me "whats up" when all i ask is a favour from you.
and the dumb Huanlou's the TMD
and so many things moreeeeee....

I know i really can be the biggest jerk-off of the century at times. Yeah, i know almost everytime.

To show my appreciation, I just want to say thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

Screw the papers, nothing beats golden moments like those. =D
But i dun wan to fail marketinggggggg.

Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind.

2007-06-29T18:18:00.000+08:00

I've just watched Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind.
I have to say, its an amazing piece of movie. The whole movie just absorbs you and has a meaning that is so deep. Its a story about love but not at all superficial, unlike teenage dramas or even phantom of the opera, this move conveys a message about romance.

I would say the movie is quite complicated and you really need to concentrate. You couldn't really like get off your seat during the movie. Whenever, i went to the kitchen for some food and left the movie playing, i had to rewind it so as not to miss parts in case they are important.

I could talk lots about the movie, but i guess i won't. I really hope everyone gets a chance to enjoy it.

The meaning is really deep, so its not that easy to understand if you are lazy to think.

Anyway, do watch it if you have the time.
Its like the best sophisticated-romance movie i've ever seen. Must watch for romantics
Anyway, Enjoy.

I'm different.

2007-06-16T01:33:00.000+08:00

I'm not in the mood for anything. I see my guitar lying on the floor, i picked it up, i plucked a few strings and i lay it back on the floor. I don't play my favourite football computer game anymore, i seem to get bored of it. I wouldn't even want to hug my plush toy when its on my bed. (My plush toy is seldom on my bed, it always falls below my bed.)

Alot is going thru my mind. The feeling i have now is "frustration at nothing.". I'm easily annoyed but i don't show because i don't have a reason to. After much much thinking, i think i realized i'm different.

I'm different from the people around me, I like things that others don't. I probably see things in a different perspective that others wouldn't agree with. Is it better or worse? Personally, i wouldn't say i see things in a better perspective than others but i always find some people so predictable. It's like i've been there, done that kind of feeling. Its like in a particular situation, you are bound to react a particular way. With this , that particular way you see things, that particular way you react will not be the same as mine. What do you do? You start giving little comments, sometimes criticisms. That when said aplenty, will irritate the fuck out of me. Because you judge me, when i'm criticised, i don't tend to argue or do anything. I'll probably just be silent not because i succumb, not because i agree, its because i know if i start, we'll probably end up nowhere except bearing a childish grudge on each other.

Another reason because i don't hit back because you'll probably win. You'll seek a thrid-party opinion and the opinion would likely agree with yours, because you both think the same, feel the same, agree on the same things. The reasons i know all these is because, you see, its predictable.

If i stop here, and you have read my blog, and i came to ask you a question a few days later

" Ae, you think nice this thing nice anot ah?"

(In your mind thinking, Rod hates people to judge.)

"You think nice , nice loh. You think not nice , not nice loh."

Shallow and Childish? Its like somebody told you to stop doing something, and you purposely stop it completely just to make the other party feel miserable.

From this entry, i'm not really trying to tell people what to do, what to say, what to feel, what to think. This is just how i really feel, maybe it does serve as a reminder to consider or maybe if you feel that i'm just thinking thrash talking thrash, i state that please do what you always do. I don't want a week later from now, all the people around me to become robots.

Being friends, we all seek self-assurance from each other. Thus, we are fairly vulnerable to each other's comments. Its natural. However, sometimes in order to your point across you tend to be harsh. I used to say that "Don't bother what others say, just be yourself.". That led me thinking, are opinions always bad? Some comments and opinions can actually lead you to become a better person. Thus, i do agree with a saying "listen to your friends' advice, for they are the best."

To this point, everything was written prior to my operation. Thanks everyone who showed their care and concern. Its been okay. Thanks ALOT guys.

Back to the topic, about opinions, comments and advice. I don't know much but what is it about mockery among friends? A little fun-poking is nice and real funny, but going to the extent to mock at your friends? What are you trying to prove? That you are a person with a real good sense of humor? Maybe, when you mock, you feel good. But then again, you just irritate the fuck out of me. Truth to be told, we've grown. Probably my perception had changed a little, a little less like what it was before.

I really wouldn't want to end up like Hitler. One main reason why Hitler failed was because he wouldn't listen to his advisors during times of crisis. He just mainly disregard any opinion that doesn't agree with his. As a result, he made errors and have gone insane. Lost the war.

I don't really know what i am saying in this post maybe i'm just paranoid or something.
I felt we had paradise but we managed to fuck it all up. People don't get along with each other because of shallow, dumb things. I just thought we are larger than that. =D.

If you don't get what i'm writing, then i probably wouldn't too. I wrote all these in seperate days so the emotion isn't as strong as the 1st day so i have probably forgotten much of what i wanted to say. Anyway, just hope we have great lives ahead and if you have the time watch " The Girl Next Door", i just watched it the 3rd time, as good as ever. Its like a teenager's fairytale story, lol. Best-teen movie in my opinion.

Hahaha.
Oh ya, Thanks again for everyone who cared. =D

Gwen's Romance.

2007-06-12T21:53:00.000+08:00

Hi. I am going to talk about Gwen Stefani's romance. Not sure why, even though i'm not a big fan of hers but she has two very beautiful songs which is actually related to each other. "Don't Speak" and "Cool". "Don't Speak" is actually from her band No Doubt, a band which previously Gwen Stefani was in. She had a boyfriend of 7 years named Tony Kanal. Tony Kanal is a actually the bassist of No Doubt.

She and Gwen Stefani were actually lovers and they played in the band together. After they broke up, Gwen wrote the song "Don't Speak" prior to breakup which inflicted alot of pain on her.

This are the lyrics to the song "Don't Speak"

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
It's all ending

I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Chorous.
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts.

You can actually see the video of "Don't Speak" , before the music starts, at the beginning of the video, there is a scene of Tony Kanal picking a rotten orange from a tree. The video ends with Kanal replacing the orange in the tree. In the vid, you could see Gwen Stefani and the band trying to be professional and not be too emotional and Tony Kanal and Gwen Stefani avoiding any kind of contact yet in some parts of the video Gwen would just sing to Tony in his face, drastically, full of drama.

That was years ago, when i was still a kid. Now Gwen has gone solo on her career and she has huge success and she sung a song cool. This song is also for Tony Kanal as Tony and her girlfriend actually went to Gwen's house to congratulate her upon her engagement to Gaven Rossdale, the lead guitarist and vocalist of the band "Bush". They actually met on tour of Bush and No Doubt and things just happened between Gwen and Gavin.

Thus, Gwen wrote and sung this song "Cool" for Tony. From this song, it says that Tony and her still stays very good friends though things couldn't happen between them. The video follows the song's theme closely and depicts the relationship that Stefani has with a former boyfriend, who is played by Daniel González. Gonzalez actually plays Tony in the video of "Cool" and the girlfriend of tony in the video is actually played by Tony's actual girlfriend Erin Lokitz. There are brief flashbacks to the time when Stefani and her former boyfriend were dating, where she wears a brunette wig, representing her younger self. The video of the song also shows times where Gwen feels uneasy about the past.

Here are the lyrics of "Cool"
It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life...
Passes things get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool.

I really liked this paragraph,

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

Harbor Boulevard is probably where the band jam their songs, or the place where Gwen and Tony used to go when they are younger.
Look how all the kids have grown - Talking about the band members of No doubt, how they have all grown older now compared to the years where the had huge success and fame.

The rest of the lyrics sort of just explains itself.

Here are the links to both the videos.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=welnlg3svTw&mode=related&search= (Don't Speak)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rjzzK8tIbOc ( Cool)

They are really nice songs. Do listen.=D

Its not about the having,, its about the living.

2007-05-21T21:30:00.000+08:00

Question: " If i were to give u a million dollars in exchange for a year of your teenage life. Would you want it?"

When i was younger, i always wanted to have lots of money, be rich, a beautiful wife, a beautiful house, luxury cars and of course a beautiful family. However, recently i seemed to gain a little knowledge and that has altered by thinking a little. Not that i wouldn't want the riches anymore, but i know they aren't the most important.

Every person has a certain amount of lifespan. We all die someday, someone's time may come later, some sooner. Everyday i live with a burden, a burden that when i wake up the next morning i know i am a day older and i am one day to nearer to my birthday again. Someone above, probably god, blessed everyone of us differently. The path we choose, the decisions we make, the consequences of our choices and actions are entirely up to us. We have total control so take control.

Many people have asked " What's life?" To many of us, life is all about security, for example financial security. We must first study hard, so that we could get a decent job and make lots and lots of money. Then we settle down with a family, and live happily ever after. This i deem is the life of what many people want even though they are not really conscious of it. Thus, they try their best, go back home everyday study and study and study. Exams came, they did really well and got the degree they wanted, they became really rich and had a happily family with a very usual routine and everything went as planned. One fateful day, you passed away. You became an angel, and you wonder what memories do you have of your life and all you could come up with was "My Wedding day", "The birth of my first son."....etc

Have you ever wished you had done more? Like you always wanting to be a painter or wanting to learn to play the drums, having do a tattoo or even things like bungee jumping.

Everyday there are stories of betrayal and people falling out with each other...etc. Some people even use underhand means to get what they want, steal, cheat, using of best friends..etc. So you may get what you want, nobody may even know about you underhand means. But i believe that i'm right when i say this, to achieve your goal with integrity and hardwork as compared to underhand means the taste of success is much sweeter and you could savour every moment of it.

Personally, i feel whatever we do in life we must have this sense of integrity and this free-from-evil intentions only then will we be able to be truly happy. Integrity i don't mean not cheating in tests and exams etc... cause i actually did that quite a no. of times but that doesn't count la because minor only so nevermind. =X

Wah lao, sure alot of ppl..
"LOL. Rodney talk about integrity ah. Totally abusurd."

There are times when life gets real depressing and you really do not mind if you die right now. However, pain do not last forever, just live through it and you will be proud.

When we are older, we will all be living different lives and we may not all be rich or have everything we want but i just hope that during our teenage-hood we could have lots of memories and happiness that we will remember for the rest of our lives. I know being an adult sucks. So savour the moment. Live life to the fullest.

Fuck tomorrow, live for the moment.
Life is not about the having, its about the living.

"Its something unpredictable, but in the end its right. I hope you had the time of your life."
-Green Day. Good Riddance.

Orange Sky

2007-05-13T00:14:00.000+08:00

Well I had a dream I stood beneath an orange sky.
Yes I had a dream I stood beneath an orange sky
With my brother standing by.
With my brother standing by I said Brother, you know you know It’s a long road we’ve been walking on
Brother you know it is you know it is Such a long road we’ve been walking on

And I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
With my sister standing by
With my sister standing by
I said Sister, here is what I know now
Here is what I know now
Goes like this..
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, in your love, in your love

But sister you know I’m so weary
And you know sister
My hearts been broken
Sometimes, sometimes
My mind is too strong to carry on
Too strong to carry on

When I am alone
When I’ve thrown off the weight of this crazy stone
When I've lost all care for the things I own
That's when I miss you, that's when I miss you, that's
when I miss you
You who are my home
You who are my home
And here is what I know now
Here is what I know now
Goes like this..
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, my salvation lies
In your love, in your love, in your love

Well I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
Yes I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky
With my brother and my sister standing by
With my brother and my sister standing by
With my brother and my sister standing by

This is the new song that i've just uploaded to my blog. Its called "Orange Sky".Its a very beautiful song. Its kind of jazzy and soulful. I heard this song randomly during a movie trailer while watching a dvd. Tell me more about how you feel about this song. If its awful, maybe i need a new one. Thanks. =D

There's more to me than me.( The "I" post.)

2007-04-26T22:47:00.000+08:00

I have an ambition, or perhaps more like a wish. I want to meet people from all walks and circles of life. Sometimes, you can't really explain human behaviour. Sometimes, its just a clear glass see thru, its just so predictable.

If i were to die, and all my family and friends were to throw out every information about me, i believe there would still be questions and secrets will be buried with me. There are this part of me that i couldn't share or explain.Its not that i don't want to, its more of i'm am not able to.The inability is not caused by a restriction but more like just an inability. Even if i do, you might not even understand. I just hope that everyday i could live behind that cover. Till now , if you purely feel that i'm talking funny, then i guess its a good sign.

I want to be a happier person. Anger prevents happiness. I'm fairly hot-tempered, easily pissed by slight happenings. Everything about people are beautiful. Traits, personalities and actions. I realised there isn't a guide for the "Perfect Behaviour". You can't possibly please everyone and that got me thinking to a solution. Please the ones that are worth pleasing and just forget about the rest.Most of people's actions are motivated by intentions and motives but evil intentions and selfish intentions are the ones that bring about head. Intentions may not be clear at first but come to time, people you treat badly will know it. I think its takes too much out of a person to hate and forgivness is so easily done. Its probably good there's no hate in a person but sometimes some things just scar you so badly, it hurts.

I wouldn't say that i've not done things that i'm not ashamed of. I've done things, many in fact with selfish and evil intentions. Sometimes it just takes time to reflect and realise what you've done isn't appropriate. I wouldn't say its wrong and "wrong" comes out to be a very strong word. I can only hope to change and be a better person that next moment that comes along.

I got friends saying that i'm anti-social. Actually, it sort of used to be a cool thing in the past being emo and stuff, not talking to people and hanging your head real low. There are times when i directly walk past people that i know(groupmates,friend's of friends)and pretend not to see them only for them to call my name and showing me a "Why did you do this again after so many times i've told you." face. I apologise for my weak vocabulary but i just hope you hape that imagery of that expression in your head. Other times were, " Hi rodney." and i will go "Ae,hi!". I gave the feeling that I don't know them well and as thought i'm very surprised to see them. It's kind of rude but i could actually explain the anti-socialism. I actually fear that when i take the initiative to say "hi" there wouldn't be a reply making me feel silly or i have this understanding that if the other person feels that i'm close enough with him/her for a "hi" the other person would take the "hi" first. I also do not talk much to friend's friends or people who i'm not so familiar with because i'm afraid that what i say might offend them or if i do try to instill humour and its not funny and makes me lame and stupid or worst they do not comprehend what i want to say.

Lastly, my sincere apologies for this SO SO SO self-absorbed post. There would be " Who gives a fuck about Rodney?" so my apologies for not describing more about this entry at the start. I just wish that blogspot never shuts down and when i'm gone, this will be all that's left to describe me in words.

Tribute

2007-04-13T20:35:00.000+08:00

An hour ago, i just had dinner with Sherwin and i realised that how fast one year had passed. Looking back, i was still a freshman entering Ngee Ann Poly , Business Studies. I faintly remember the orientation I had , which suck and definetly not enjoyable. Graduating from the secondary school which provided so much comfort to a Polytechnic which has so many unfamilar faces till today is a very big change to make. I was a lonely person, in such a majestic course with such magnificent amount of people.

I was the only 1 of 3 students in my school who got into Business Studies, and the only other student who was in the same semester. Another former-schoolmate who is in Business Studies is some Sec 5 girl which i have never ever spoken to, but of course, i still know who she is. I yearn for the comfort of secondary school where all the faces would seem so familiar. I've realised that during the last year of your secondary school life, which is sec 4, everyday was paradise but its just that we actually didnt know it because it felt so natural.

So basically it suck, and i was feeling all alone, lonely, and bored. During the first week, i kept calling my friends to crash my lectures so i would have company. I couldn't wait for the lectures to end so i could meet my friends again. Me too, crashed my friends' lectures if there is a possibility.

The first time i saw the first few faces of TB11 was after an OCOM lecture if i didnt remembered wrongly. The first impression that actually struck me was Mingjun. He talked to the teacher , jokingly somehow and therefore it goes " There is this big size guy in my class." Haha.

I soon came to know that i had a primary school friend who is now my coursemate. So basically i started going to school with him and my former secondary school classmates, hang with him and so on... Tarmiziewas actually my first friend that i made in this course. However, he is in a different class from me so we weren't always together.

I remembered the first tutorial i had with TB11 was Business Statistics. It was wierd. I sat at the back of the class alone and our Bstats tutor sort of introduced himself and made us introduce ourselves.About 15-20 mins into the tutorial, a guy stormed in the class, LATE. I pulled my bag of from the seat which it was occupying and Keng Nguan sat beside me. I get to know he's from Swiss Cottage Secondary School and i had in mind " I had this tall guy with plastic glasses and spiked hair as my classmate." The first tutorial with TB11 soon ended and i dart down to meet my friends for lunch. I feel comfortable again. Then there is this morning, when there is a lecture going on, i cant really recall what module the lecture is about though. So anyway, i saw Keng Nguan sitting alone at the back of the lecture so i thought i'll drop a "hi". I think after the lecture i made him eat lunch with my friends and SIM canteen and i think its bloody awkward for him. ha.

Aniwae, Keng Nguan was the first new friend i made in Business Studies. Be proud. Ha. So me and him sort of hang and i sort of disliked him a little initally cause i felt that he talks alot and a tinny winny little irritating. BUT, now, he's one pretty nice guy.

Ok, you owe me like 50 bucks. hahaha.

Days start to pass and i've sort of fitted with my class more. We start to get together during lectures at the FRONT ROW which is totally "wat the fuck" when i come in late. Every morning i open the lecture's theatre door only to spot familiar guys at the front row and i have to walk down the aisle, i mean the long flight of stairs. But i walk with PRIDE. ha.

So many days have passed and in a few days time, most of us are not in the same class anymore. We do celebrate birthdays for each other. not all though. Uh huh. Uh huh. Shhh.

1000 bottles of Oolong.
Kitten Purses
Havianas sandals
Volcom wallet
Notice Boards.
Rip Curl Slippers.
and the many many pieces of cakes.

Jialing- The girl who is a boy, my power power BCA project mate. Hahaha.
Weixia- The super intelligent, action-funny girl. Funny i mean good Funny.
Shuxian- She thought me how to eat applepies.
Shihui- The Mando Pop fanatic.
Hui Er- Minnie mouse comes to live.
Henry- Haagen Daaz does it for me. Thanks. I wan Cookies and Cream. Thks alot for Surf's up!
Andrew- The animated christian.
Mingjie- Emotional and delicate. ( I tried to make you gay. Best i could do.) Hahaha!
Keng Nguan- Yo ah Yo. The "ae rod, wan play bball/dota?"
Sherwin- The always think he damn tall then "hehehehe" one.
Chien Hock - How's your business at the 4 wheels below each feet?
Leonard- "Get your priorities right." I will NEVER EVER forget this. Hahaha.
Wee Kok- The guy who has a crush on Shi Hui. (I figured you might never read my blog aniwae. You read already tell me then maybe i will change it. =P)
Sim seng- The Rockstar.
Rodney- The Rockstar wannabe.
Minjun- The big big big so big bear who stole the Oolong tea and honey and the Rockstar wannbe's wannabe. =X

Aniwae, i just wanna thank all of you for the joy we shared during tutorials, lectures, lunches, dinners,outings,k-boxing, the east coach beach, the sentosa beach, the chalet and the ever-fun simseng's games. I have met some really great friends of today. I know at times i was kinda big by "big" i mean trying to be clownish, ape and gorilla but its just me when i some sort lose my mind.haha. Its really a pity i dont get to talk much with some of the people in the class but then again, you should be glad u didnt or your life will be a whole lot more miserable. Ha. Again, i wanna thank you guys for making my virgin first year in Ngee Ann a wonderful and smooth sailing one. Me, too hope that you all have a great time having me in your class............................NOT!

Ok, i know i'm lame.

i wont forget the super-dooper uncool photo which we took after Ocom formal presentation i had both my index fingers on my cheeks and eyes horizontal lines. Wat the fuck man. LOL. Its totally cool the fun we had with each other and got time go throw Hui er inside the sea again ah.

So TB11,
So long, goodbye.

Should i sign off with a "cheers" or a "muacks" ah? "Muacks" like disghusting ah. "Cheers like boring ah"

Ok la, Cheermuacks.

What is wrong and what is right?

2007-04-03T16:23:00.000+08:00

Hi there, it seems i haven't been typing in this webpage for a fairly long time.

I presume that its a day to day occurence that we judge somebody. I feel that in today's society, what is wrong and what is right is like black and white. When you see a guy on the street with tattoos on his body and a few facial piercings and he stares at you, what do you feel? Fear. It is because there is this perception in your head that people with tattoos and facial piercings are either gangsters or some guy with violent tendencies.

What if another guy who is totally clean gives you a same stare, would you still feel such a strong feeling of fear? I guess not. Because this guy leaves you possibilities of what he might be whereas the tattooed guy has already been condemned in your thoughts though FEW or NONE might actually admit it.

Let's forget tattoos. Tattoos are going mainstream and its getting more accepted by people.

Let's talk about women. A question for the gentlemen " What do you think of a pregnant lady without a husband or a young, beautiful single mother ?" I guess that many of us would think that she is "cheap", easily screwed over, desperate for love. Isn't it? Typical.

Next example, smokers. Friends of mine and people i do know had been condemning smokers as "dirty" and smoking kills. Its a fact that smoking kills. There are many reasons why people actually picked up smoking. Peer pressure, coolness factor and curiosity. For me i deem it as a part of growing up. I have always believed to living life to the fullest , experiencing everything for you only get to live once. But its really sympathetic that one's life has to depend on ciggarettes or even anything. A person life's being dependent on another is also another example. One's life should never depend wholly on anything or anybody. Have control, take control.

I just want to say education is over-rated. Behind every life, there's a story. Every situation is unique and there's no such thing as a generalisation. Experience, get to know then understand. Education alone can't tell you what is wrong and what is right.

My article is actually much more than this. I didnt save it and i lost it and i couldn't put in effort to re-type it. =(

Happy Chinese New Year.

2007-02-21T01:20:00.000+08:00

firstly, happy chinese new year to everyone. As usual, this cny i haven been in singapore. I went back to malaysia. This new year, is wierd. I'll just write down some of the my experiences of my chinese new year.

It was reunion dinner as usual in the new year's eve. One of my uncle couldn't be present cause he was in america or something. So i just had my dinner, the food still tastes the same after all these years. My grandma's cooking never changes...in a good way. =D

Anyway, i met my cousins who most of them i only meet during this festive season. Talked to some of them, just decided to hang around the house. As usual, we played playstation 2 , pro evolution aka winning 11. Betted wif my cousins, as usual i won. =X ha. Cause i actually had the game in my laptop and i play it very very often . So naturally i had a advantage. haha. Won like 15 ringgit playing the game.

Next morning , it was chinese new year. A day we , the cousins , the adults (uncles ,aunties , grandma,grandpa) gather at the hall at start wishing each other "Happy New Year" at the same time getting our angpaos. pao pao! As usual, we , the cousins, need to first greet grandma and grandpa, kneeling down, paying our respects, wishing them chinese new year, then collecting our angpaos. Its like everyone knows the drill, having done this for so many years. The newborn will be guided their parents so that they will know what to do in the next few years time, after they had grown older.

Next its time, everyone wish each other "Happy New Year". I then collected angpaos from my uncles and aunties. My auntie said that i wear like Singpore Idol , Hady Mirza. Bloody hell. Just because i wear long-sleeve shirt , and carrot jeans (yea, my cousin call the slim fit jeans carrot jeans.mockery.) Everyone laughed . haha.

Next up was photo-taking session. The whole family stand together to take a photo. Normally my uncles' maids will help out to take the pictures . However, this year there none of my uncles actually have maids with them so someone actually has to sacrifice to take the pictures. After the whole family picture, its the individual family pictures. The eldest uncle is the first , followed by the 2nd eldest ...etc. My dad is the fourth i think, so i took a picture or two with my dad.

After the photographing session , we would go for lunch at my grand-aunt's house i think. If i'm nt wrong, she's my grand-aunt. haha. i nt sure also. We got to go there every year to have our chinese new year lunch.After lunch, we would then head back to grandma's and slack around. Play our playstation games. Watch little cousins play their ultraman, dragonball. Looking them play is just plain funny. haha.

After that, watched lion dance. They sucked aniwae. Not nice at all.

The 2nd or 3rd day, i then went to edwin and errol's grandma's place. I go there every year, to visit. Ok, edwin and errol are my father side cousins. So i went to edwin's mum's mum's place. Kinda confusing , but nevermind. There, unlike my grandma's have much much more people. They had a buffet, and like 30 people were in the house? Ya, that many. Imagine me not knowing more than 10 of them, super scary eh. Trust me. Damn scary. But its very fun there, i gamble there, laugh laugh. They are very friendly people. They had lion dance in their house also, it was much much better. Alot of nicer. The lion actually spat beer. I kena twice. My shirt wet wet. In the night, my cousin actually let off fireworks, the real one. The one you see in Singapore's national day parade. yaya. tt kind.I think singapore u do that, you go in changi prison already. I then ride motorcycle. haha my first time.After that , went to have supper with few of errol and edwin's cousins. Eat Naan, its actually like roti prata but much much much nicer. Wonder why Singapore dosent have it. After that , went to eat super spicy cockles and fried rice. Damn nice man.

Then went back to grandma's to stay for the night. Stole my grandpa's ciggrattes and smoked with my cousin...hahaha.I then rode motorbike again. Then my cousin, errol, who is one year younger then me rode on the main road fast like hell. Super dooper fun man , without helmets somemore. We then stopped at 7-11 to get drinks.Then rode back again.

Then the next morning, which is tuesday morning, i woke up , then went to edwin's and errol's grandma's place again. I gambled again and lost RM20 of blackjack, its alot considering i only bet Rm1 per game. After that, went to do some shopping with my cousin , he bought quiksilver filp-flops at few tees and a water bottle and i bought myself a bag. My dad call for me to go home, says we are leaving for singapore soon.

Then i went back my grandma's, have my dinner, packed my bags. Ready to leave for Singapore.My dad then suggested that i stay at my cousin's place at jb, he say scared jam so i agreed. So here i am, at my cousin's place blogging. I then bid farwell to my relatives, espicially grandma , i love her to the lots man. My dad then started driving. Then he drove to some house i had never seen before, then i asked him where is this? He said "this is my girlfriend's house." I then Ohhhh.... I didnt know he had a girlfriend in meleka or anything much bout his affairs. At least he didnt lie to me , when he could and i respect him for that. My cousin actually saw my dad's girlfriend before when they concidentally took the same bus from jb to meleka before.

So , my way back to JB, in the car with my dad, my dad's girlfriend and my cousin. After reaching jb, my cousin and i then went up to his place while my dad and his girlfriend went back to his place. My dad has a house in jb too.

I have told you mostly about my time in malaysia. Now its time on my reflection on this chinese new year. To me , this chinese new year dosent really feels like chinese new year. There is neither much harmony or laughter as it were in the past years.I mean that's what i feel la. Finally, there are a few incidents i want to highlight this chinese new year.

On our way to malaysia on new year's eve, on the highway, we actually met with an accident. It was raining very very heavily, then my dad unable to brake in time , bang to a Toyota Vios. It then resulted in my dad's car bonet having a very big dent. Good thing , its now with the mechanics.

Sadly to say, this year my cousins and i rarely interacted. I do not know why though. I miss times like 10 years ago, when there were onli like maybe 8 of us, the younger ones werent even born and we will lock ourselves in the room engage in mass pillow fights, wrestling and screaming and screaming. We will den watch each other play playstation 1 and of course the almighty SEGA. Hahaha. Street fighter, Crash bandicoot...Those were the times....If you were to watch us 10 years ago, i swear that u will think that we will be very close in years to come but sadly, this is not the case. This year, i rarely talked to some of them and to some my first words to them were when i was leaving and they bid me farwell. We talked little then i left.....

I don't know why have i became so anti-social or the inability to open up to strangers or something.But, i dont think its introvertism or anything. I talk alot alot alot alot but i don't talk to strangers. ha. I'm a creep, i'm a wierdo.

Aniwae, there this very intresting incident. While my cousin was driving me back from supper, there is a cat beside a kitten who is lying down on the road. So my cousin, horn the car trying to chase the cat away. The cat didnt move and just stared at the car. Then my cousin, tried to drive the car a little forward in attempt to chase the cat away again. Still the cat stood there. Then we realise that the kitten was already dead, and the mother was trying to protect it or something like that, even willing to take a car bang for that.

I guess that is all i have to say. I'm happy i finally know how to ride a motorbike.

Happy Chinese New Year once again.

song of the week : Augustana - Boston.

verbal.

2007-01-27T10:39:00.000+08:00

i do not understand some people.
i cant stand crude sacarsm.
i do not retaliate because i do not want things to get ugly. Not because i am afraid.

i just cannot click with some people i guess.

The machine-gun crapper.
The perfectionist.
The whiner.
The sacarstic bastard/bitch
Mister "I can make fun of you, but not otherwise."
Mister "I think i know all and i'm always right"
Mister "You cant do this because its not cool ."

We need more Zhihao's man.

we all come to school to study, have fun.
we are all growing up.

Today i just seen a very good IAC presentation. 8 out 5 stars.
Its about "Undertakers."
They just played a 15 min long video. An that 15 mins , i can tell you i learn tons and tons of things i never knew about.
They interviewed alot of people from funeral parlours and asked every single question i wanted to ask if i was there.
They claimed they spent 4 hours on the interview and the actually video is like 2 hours plus long i think and they need to cut it short because of the time limit each group have for their presentation.
It means they just spend 4 hours on the entire project cause they have nothing else, no powerpoint slides , no skit , just the video.
The tutor was impressed like hell, so impressed, the class was also very impressed. You could hear applause, real applause after the video.

To no surprise, 3 out of the 4 members were from my LMS group. My LMS group is the best foreign group i've ever work with if i am to consider my class local. My lms project is also quite a success though, also due to the members i had. We had a puppet show, the puppet and props were only made 1 day before presentation . I still remember the only job i really had to do was faking a report(which i am actually good at.lol) and spraying a box. we didnt even rehearse with the puppets. We could really see we all each had confidence in one another. We put a cloth covering the bottom of the table, hid under the table and actually read from the scripts while playing the puppets . Of course , teacher didnt know we read from the scripts and did that because we didnt memorise the scripts. However, everything turned out well.

I am not trying to flaunt here but just writing about my experience.

I've realised a perfect group just needs the right mixture of people.
Guranteed success.

The leader
The smart kid.
The funny man.
The worker.

and everyone just needs to have a good personality, morale is high, quality guranteed.

After reading , do you see an irony?
I was saying i dont want my friends to be a perfectionist, whiner bla bla...
Aint I a perfectionist as well? wanting my friends to be perfect?

So, i must be more accepting.
Lesson learned. Ha.

I love you , mom.

2006-12-22T02:28:00.000+08:00

I dont know where to begin.

When i went to your bedroom and asked what are you going to get me for my birthday, you then jokingly questioned, "What did you get me for my birthday?"
I then remember faintly , on your birthday , you were out with your friends the whole day. I used the excuse saying that since you were out with your friends, i couldnt get you a present. I know its a stupid excuse. Anyway , you continued watching TV.

I thought, when did i ever even last get you anything? Moments ago, i thought hard. It was a clear night, i drew you a card on a drawing paper and i brought it to you and wished you Happy Mothers Day. I remember you smiling with joy, your eyes gleamed, dad looks surprised. We were happy , i was young.

Then , you and dad got divorced. I was a by-stander. Frankly, that time i didnt care or maybe i did. I just had so much fun in my teenage life , i never wanted home. My popularity grew among my friends , i just found so much comfort in them that i never wanted you. You would blame everybody else in the world but yourself. Because you couldnt handle the pain, i deemed you weak. Maybe you never had the friends i had, you were such a wreck.

I realised that it wasnt really anything about that but the different things we have to worry about. Who will have to worry for my future? You. Who have to worry about the bills? You. Who have to worry we have food to eat ? You. That's why you were weaker? Maybe.

For me, i just live.

You always said i changed. I became notorious , rude and something you never wanted me to be. We then drifted apart, there were no longer the days of Baystreet 21, the Pier, the stanford hotel buffet and the Long Beach......with dad.

Now, you would then talk to me as though i'm still at 12 year old . Worrying over the slightest things, using those mushy tone, seriously i cant stand it. Maybe its the pride and the ego i have as a teenager , maybe its so fuckin irritating to be treated like a child. I will then get pissed, then i will speak to you so loud, we quarrel.

We would quarrel because of many issues. Mostly money issues. You often said that you do not have enough money asking me to scrimp . Then i look around the house, bascially we have enough food for everyday, seeing no signs of poverty. I would feel that you are being stingy, not bearing to part with the money for the things i want. I would think that you are lying. You lie, you often lie. Admit it, though you are my mum , you are not perfect. The reason you lie? You are naive enough to believe that i am naive enough to believe it.

You often said that your goal was for me to study hard. When i got good grades for my studies , i would demand a reward. Ya , so typical of me. Most of the time , you would refuse to buy me anything. I would argue that since i try so hard for my studies, its only right i get something in return. My confession : You could say i was just lucky to get good grades , maybe i mixed with the right crew that encouraged me to study. Believe me , studies isnt really one of my priorities till now. Ha.

Its a sad thing that parents cant get what their child wants. If i'm a parent and if my son wants a guitar and i have no capabilities to buy him a guitar, i would feel lousy. But , i looked around my room, i seem to have everything. A friend even said I live the life of a prince. Its not that I dun have guitars or anything, its just that i'm greedy i always want the best.

I ought to appreciate but it seems i dont.

I want you to know that i do love you but i will never say it in words to you. Maybe i just have too much pride stuck-up my mouth or maybe its the way i was being brought up . I hope someday i will say it , but definetly not tomorrow or anytime soon. I just want you to know that everytime i had a quarrel with you on the phone , i am thankful that i could see you at home.

I will be what i want to be , and if what i want to be is not what you want me to be, then please accept me. I will bear the concequences, with you if anything goes wrong. So please , dont tell me what to be.

someday , i will regret some things i did.
someday , you would.

If i didnt have the chance to say those words , at least there's this letter and please if you ever read this, dont fuckin cry. =D.

Lady in green.

2006-12-13T17:29:00.000+08:00

It was a 5.20pm on the 13th december 2006. Rain was pouring down... My doors slammed. After studying for 10 minutes , i decided ( as usual ) to take a break deluding myself that i need the laptop to check the time and venue for tomorrow's exam.

The thunder roared, it roared again...so frigtening. It was almost if there was an explosion. I then looked out my window, i saw a figure , a lady , simply dressed with a green t-shirt taking a tiny umbrella strolling very slowly. I observed.....

Then, she made a slight jump. I was stiffened, with curiosity at least. It roared again. I watched very closely, she was still walking, though this time even slower. She was afraid, i could tell. Then a cab drove towards her, then past her. I was wondering why didnt the cab-driver offer a ride , i believed her destination was close, or she wouldnt be walking. Within seconds , i let the cab off my sight.

Then it roared again. My ears told me hear how loud it was but my eyes wouldn't get off the lady, the lady in green. The umbrella then begin to swirve. Thoughts of her not making it ran through my mind. I wouldnt worry, cause i was watching.

Thunder kept roaring for the next 3 minutes....
She continued walking.....

Then she got out of sight.

I thought to myself, that's the most beautiful 7 minutes i've ever seen in my life. I smiled.

Then it roared again.... I could feel victory.

The lady was carrying supporting her child with one hand, with the child clinging on to her mother's neck, another hand carrying the umbrella.

How to save a life.

2006-11-05T03:26:00.000+08:00

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Currently my favourite song. Hope you can relate to it. =D

fuck.you.

2006-11-03T01:31:00.001+08:00

So, my keyboard's loaded with ammo. When we are friends, be nice to each other . Treat each one with genuine resepect and love and have no evil intentions . Its ok if quarrels appear, for we know that we will laugh it out someday later.
I always try to be nice, no matter who you are, shy or fucked up. I treat all my friends with genuine friendliness and no fuckin hypocrisy watsoever.

I hate it when people bully me, push me , mistreat me...in all PICK on me. I am always acting retarded , like a fuckin dumbass stupid looking clown . I am different from other guys.. I dun act to impress... I know guys like to act all macho to get girls attention and so on. Guys open doors , act like a civilized gentlemen for ..i dunno why. I admit in the past, i used to be like that. For me, i just wanted to have fun and I really enjoy it when all my friends laugh together . Happy Happy.

Its easy to see when someone treats you with genuinity friendship. When you are friends , it dosent mean telling things you like to hear, it dosent mean not making fun of you. Kenneth makes fun of me all the time , i cant pronouce ''Ch'', Chester laughs at me mocking how dumb i am all the time, Kenny is also mean to me. Of course it hurts, but only for awhile... The joke's over, its done and dusted. Everyone knows their limits and if they do cross the line, they will always make it a point to try to apologize... Of course , i will be angry and of course i will have that fucked up black and sour face but soon it will be over, isnt it?

You, seriously like to pick one me. I dont know why, maybe i am fuckin retarded looking or maybe i am a kid not cool enough or a kid not mature enough or you may think ''He's such a lamer...'' All you do is teach me lion dance. I'm grateful, I'm truly grateful and thankful for everything that you have taught me...I'm a very very very blur and slow learner. Seriously i suck at hands on stuffs. This is just another reason for you to pick on me? When was the last time you ever laughed because of me, i dont remember any. You may say that i'm not funny or my actions and jokes are super lame. But deep down, I know its is because A scholar dosent laugh at a blind man's jokes. You despise me.

Now take this. I am telling you right fuckin now, i am no fuckin pushover. Greetings , a big FUCK YOU lawrance. Now do i seem cool to you ? Or oooh, rodney's immature and a oversensitive screwed up kid. I was a kid wif 100% eagerness trying to friends with you . NEVERTHELESS, you killed him! You have just plucked your last straw. Don know what i'm talking about, here's some reference for your big headed guy with big brains! Oh ya, do you still remember i owe you 20 pushups? YES! remeber that time when we are lining up when i turn to smack kenneth on the chest and you , like a military nazi soldier said ''Rodney, you owe me 20 ah.'' Ae for god sake, i am no fuckin jew. Kenneth hit me on the chest and nothing happen to him. What does he look fucking Italian to you? You know Totti?Del Piero? Ahh. i bet you know this one. Materazzi. Your god brother.

Wed was one big day man. I get the chance to perform again. YAY! But you obviously dont like Meeee. First thing , when Penny was helping me tie my belt. You have to fuckin lash out like a dog, ''So long still dunno how to tie yr belt ah! '' Ae peash la, everytime training chester and kenneth tie for me ah, or the janitor? The reason I asked her to tie is because i think she tie will be nicer..Chu Shi ma.. must sui sui rite...Ahhh.. your emphasis ma and partly because i lazy oso la =D. If its Penny helping Tze ting tie leh, you will shout ah? Or will you use military cannon. No la, i think atomic bomb la. BABOOM.

Ok ready to go! I am taking the lion head and when i was walking past the gym , i turned to look at the hunks and angry upon finding out i'm gay you shouted '' See wat see! Cannot walk faster ah!'' That point of time , i am completely shocked man...to a very fuckin angry man. We were walking ,taking our own sweet time and you are only fuckin like 30 metres infront of me you want to shout at ME ah. Joey leh? Joey beside me , nevermind ah. Angie behind me , oso nevermind la. You nt happi scold me can liao ah. Ae u go fuck the dumbbells la dumbell =X.

Woah this part, horrible man. Tong Tong cheh i make mistake. Qi shi never move away , sian ah. u 5kg dumbell i 50kg one. Feeling fuckin guilty , Shou Gu finish immidiately take out lion head say '' Sorry leh.'' You giving me that face . ''Fuck u la, say sorry for what . You also hopeless liao.'' Tsk sian. 50kg heavy leh. Sorlli la.

Rain rain go away , come again another day. Those fuckin japansese bombers wan use play games wif dem. Heng never ask us play WWII man, like that i confirm pia atomic bomb at hiroshima one.You said , dont play games with them . Want to leave already rite. Ok fine loh, who wants to play with them sia...so stupid one deir game nt say soccer or wat. Joy and Zhijuan tempted la..Japanese boys too cute, cannot resist. I can gurantee you, if i am the only one who went in and play, i become the Lion Dance POW ( Prisoneer Of War ) liao.

Ok , still raining.... Nevermind climax liao loh. Joey cannot take drums up the stairs. You go '' Ae fuckin help la!'' or smth liddat la i dun remember la. You think what, i mind reader ah. Aba-ka-de-bra boom! Brain signal wave says ''Joey gt no strength. faster go help her!'' Ps ah, i now still learning that skill , haven master yet. Cannot carry she must say wat, i see she like cmi cmi liao i got run go help anot pcb. Then you must fuckin scold me ah. Or izzit i nt gentlemen as you. Why not you the gentlemen, carry the drum ask Joey carry the stand? Ahh.. never think of it right. Nvm , next time gt opportunities one. By now, my mood pendulum already swing half an oscillation already. I cant take it animore.

It is said , that ''yi ge ren shao shuo yi ju jiu mei shi'' (DUN LAUGH PLZ). i think that you are a very good leader of the lion dance club. Really , the people likes you except me.honestly.While reading this you may think that i'm just an immature boy because lawrance scold me abit then i want to angry.
I tried to take it but he plucked the last straw.
I got no balls to confront him .( Face to Face)
So i blogged.

You dont have to pick a side. I am not going to quit lion dance or watsoever. I'm not that idiotic and ____ . LOL. This post is mainly for him and only him. Maybe i have too much anger and emotion stuck in my body and someday will find that this is just immature of me , if so give me time to grow up. =D

Sometimes people say life's not fair. But no human is god and no one get to treat you the way you dont like and i'm quite confident i'm not a spoiled brat. I need to learn to stand-up and retalliate. i'm angry.

My friends will always be my friends. You have the most stuck-up attitude or the thickest magnifying class spectacles. I dont care. Treat me as friend , we can be friends .

fuck.you.

2006-11-03T01:31:00.000+08:00

A wicked cycle.

2006-10-07T02:24:00.000+08:00

Its like fire dosent burn forever, anger dont last forever.

You are pissed with your friends, people around you...Then you think of all the meanest things, the angriest things, your's mind a whirl , u wanna hurl objects. You keep silent. Control the anger with all your might. Then when you reach home, anger cools and you think, why the hell am i so pissed for? Why am i not pissed now?

Then next day , you and your friends start talking and the jokes start flowing back and in a matter of time....

Its like fuckin Mensuration. A matter of time when the jokes too much , you let it all out.

Friendship is a cycle like Mensuration.

Life's a joke dammit.

Wee.=D

Beauty of life.

2006-09-15T03:20:00.001+08:00

Recently, i've been thinking about sec school days and i've realised that many things didnt stay the same. Wouldnt say that i am not happy now or anything but sometimes its just that some jokes are not funny anymore and there would be things that i will miss doing while i was in sec school.

I've would have said that we change.Admit it, or at least i did. I watched ''Laguna beach'' and the 2 episodes i liked the most were the graduation and prom. I would watch them over again when i have the time and it gets me emo . Those times we used to say that we won't change , friends forever , that we would forever be in contact. I wouldnt say that we were naive , i would say that this shows how much each of us meant to each other as friends and how much we would never want to be apart.

As, i've said . Singapore is a small country and maybe the furthest we will be is only 30km apart. Then i said that , with this how could we possibly even miss each other. I've realised that even that we were onli this distance apart , we would not spend as much time with each other as before.It isnt the physical distance that counts , sometimes its all about OUR physical prescence distance that really matters.

As for me, i thinked i have changed in a way at least i am more sure of who i want to be in a bad way and good way. I admit in the past , i used to live and act in a way that people want me to. Well, i still do but maybe not to such extent. At least now i get people hating me where in the past i'll just try my best to make everyone happy. Its is important for me to make you happy but in a way i am more aware of to what extent am i suppose to do that like ... say if you have done me a favour , all the more i shud repay you. And if...you werent keen on doing something for me then i wouldnt be as keen? Ya. haha.But of course , special favours for special friends.

I wouldnt forget my class. The d6 boys and the f7 girls and of course the other guys as well. You were all witness of a very important part of my life where we turn from boys to men and girls to women.I couldnt ask for a better secondary school life and i wish that you enjoyed it as much as i do and you guys will always have a place in my heart.(Yuck , so mushy.)

One thing about life is that it always moves on. People change ,things change.
I do miss rebelling.
skateboarding (days where i just hurt myself, a less extreme way of suciding.)
the days at mac.
street soccer court.
school basketball court.
the classroom.
the Dm's office and outside.( for detention)
the canteen.
Bus 106.

Having said that people change , things change.
Change is a beauty of life.
Without it life would be boring.

As we are having our post-secondary education , a new chapter of our lives. Lets live life together.Cheers.

Class outing.

Beauty of life.

2006-09-15T03:20:00.000+08:00

Random

2006-08-30T03:49:00.000+08:00

A random entry...
so...

So is the pic above nice? Its done by Mingshen.
Please give your sincere comments , we really want to know what you think.

Soo.. its the song on my blog nice?

Should i have a tagboard?

The itch.

2006-08-25T02:37:00.000+08:00

the itch.

In love, looks is not everything.

You still need to be filthy rich and pray she's not a bitch.

In love, money is not everything.

You still need to be caring and stop being a dick.

In love,concern is not everything.

You still need time to give or she's going to be a witch.

But in love,its the guys who always have the itch.

guys, make sure u attain them or you may just get DITCHED.

A poem. Not that artistic aniwae. Maybe just some minimal humour.ha.

Love letter.

2006-08-21T03:51:00.000+08:00

1 bottle of chivas regal beside my laptop , i just had 3 glasses. It must be kind of be crazy to do this but it seems i dont care anymore or because i care too much..too much that its real crazy.To write this publicly is mad or insane but i guess its the only way. If i were just to give you a call or write you a letter, i'd probably do the same thing 2 days later but saying i was drunk and didnt mean it and move on. This time i am not moving on , i will stamp on the ground making sure i leave a mark, be it a scar or a disghusting spit on your face.

''Everyone knows about it , from the Queen of England to the hounds of hell.'' -The white stripes, Seven nation army.

Yeah,i'll make sure it happens.

To say all this things out dosent even need courage as it just comes out so naturally that it tells me that i'm far more than having just a crush. Being with you weren't even happy.My friends make me happy , you freeze moments , you make them special. Walking with you , looking at you just make watches and clocks feel like an imaginary invention, an impossible one.You may not be perfect or even close to that but i guess the saying ''Nobody is perfect'' is said by someone who felt exactly like me... Its like when i'm with you have this kryptonic ability to take me to the ''replica'' earth where cars dont move , humans are zombies . You just make me block everyone out.

''If all the kings and all the leaders could see you this way,they would hold the earth in their arms, they would watch you play.'' - Michael Learns To Rock , Sleeping child.

You're just so beautiful, plain and beautiful.

I somehow thought that my eyes were made for your beauty or maybe you are just like a Venus Flytrap attracting flies with your smell , and devouring flies like me and satisfying your enormous appetite for ego. Your smile is those of who matches with Jessica Alba's and Marilyn Monroe. Seductivity and the Angel's touch. Nuh, I wish all your teeth will turn black and no one will want to date you and you could be all mine...Cheesz. If i am the fly and you are a flytrap, i will then sting a heart inside and fight my way out so that you wont devour me the next time you i ly on you , resting , with the sunshine.........and of course, the rain.

''When all you got to keep it strong , Move along , Move along like i know you do. '' The All-American Rejects , Move Along.

Move along? i would wish to , you drain me of all my sanity and energy. You took my legs and heart. I'm stuck.

I know after this are dire concequences i need to face . We may never speak again , see each other again.I'm not the least anxious that it may happen tommorow , for i am looking towards tomorrow for you may get the chance to read this.You may say i'm selfish and perhaps you need me as a friend more than anyone does but i would say i'm weak and i'm not like you, i'm not an angel , i'm human. You and your friends would probably laugh this off as another pretty dumb naive guy making a dumb confession . To that, i hope that you realise that the defintion of ''dumb'' would be ''Letting a person's heart rule his head.'' and 80% of couples are in fact , dumb.

''I stay wrecked and jealous for this , for this simple reason , I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life.'' Taking Back Sunday - Cute without the e

I've said what i needed to and the last words are the end of this letter but i just hope it will be the climax 9f our lives.

(PUT YOUR NAME HERE), I love you.

Ahhh.. done. Ok, if you still gt no idea what the fuck am i doing, i'm writing a love letter as a compostion. I know its a huge sigh of relief as i'm sure your hearts are racing with FEAR that it might be you. So, how was the ride? Ha. Aniwae , why i decided to do this was unclear as i was studying OB , den i felt like writing a love letter. Background : ''Wierdo.''

First things first, i am not drinking CHIVAS. You mad? 3 glasses i'll probably snoring on my keyboard rather than blogging. I dont drink aniwae.hee.

Stop doubting me and ask me is there realli a person, sometimes i write because i want to not neccesarily because i need to.

I've not blogged because i'm lazy and tired like a hippo and i DID not went to hunt down the guy who stole my slippers. FORGET IT LA, SOME MONKEY TOOK IT.

I seriously hope you've enjoyed reading this and i've never seen someone done this before.

Maybe this could help you , if you need a last min love letter. You could always Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V. You're welcome. =D.

Its like freakin 4.50 am. and i haven touch CIP which is tmr. If my modules dont get good result hope the lecturers see this and use this and go woo their love. But my OB lecturer is married and My Cip lecturer is Auntie.*oops* nevermind, den i just hope their marriages... Uh-uh-uh.. will result in bliss and happily ever after.

*YAWNS* . I'll dream of you, yes you.

Oh ya if there's anithingi love, its this picture.

Damn you motherfucker.

2006-06-22T03:49:00.000+08:00

My slippers just got stolen. Seriously wats up with my slippers, i know its nice but cant you fuckin go buy your own. Must you fuckin steal mine? Seriously by wearing my slippers, your mother ( if you even have one) will hung on the 13th storey of your any fuckin building which no human on earth could seperate her neck frm the rope. Her soul will come to haunt you , fear you, kill you for fuckin stealing my slippers.
I seriously FUCKING FEEL LIK STABBING YOU. I WANT TO KILL YOU. If you are care to be such a fuckin grandpa fucker, i guess in 3 days you wont be able to pee, and have your bladder that stuck-up till your face and find that your favourite food will be white flip-flops. You will go around HDB estates feeding on flip-flops like there's no tomorrow.You will then wear my slippers fall off the stairs have your arms broken fingers fractured and have a needle pierce right through your eye..sweeeet eh? It aint that bad , you still have the legs to wear my flip-flops.
Seriously go home, go home. You will find yourself go broke that you need to steal slippers. Inside you are so glad you stole 2 pair of slippers....Deeper in , you know you are so FUCKIN LOW to steal slippers..may your wife/husband die the day your child is born. You will find your child hate you so much that he will stab you on his 18th birthday. Your son 18th birthday present will be '' a free-fuck with grandma corpse''. He cummed so much on your mother that your mother sort of revive and he hugged your child and close the coffin.They married.(oh, did i meantioned that your son was a homosexual?) I think your mom has really great strength eh?

'Son and Grandma happily ever after''
Soon, your son and your mum fucked so much they hare 18 children.17 died though. Dont worry there's one to carry your family line. Oh ya! What should you call him?

I dont know who in the blue hell fuckin took my slippers.
Some Fuckin BANGLADESHI WORKER. Bangladesh shouldnt even be in the map?
SOME FUCKIN MUTT. HIS SLIPPER BROKE AND HIS MOM HAS NO MONEY TO BUY HIM ONE AND HIS MUM SAYS
''Go to the 9 storey and look for one darling.''
''Bring another pair for your brother too.''
''And oh ya , another smaller one for the child I had with Grandpa which is coming out in 2 months time''
Or maybe some chao ah beng
''wa! slipper si bei cool leh! ai kope mai? ''
'' kope la!''
''heee.e.heee..heee...Ah Lian , i kope slippers leh!''
''Woah so cool!''
''Muack''
They then giggle till they choked and drop dead.

FUCK YOU.

ps. Joseph slippers got stolen too.

gift from nowhere.

2006-06-20T02:14:00.000+08:00

hi again.What was the most expensive thing you've ever found? A dollar, a hand-phone , a wallet ? or maybe a piece of paper with a girl's number.
Recently something incredible happened to my friend. He managed to get on a cab. Ya, incredible eh? The cab isnt what you see on roads around singapore it has 5 wheels.Amazed, he quickly flagged for the cab, and the cab stopped! Seeing that it has 4 wheels on the outside , he spotted one more when he got inside the cab, the sterring wheel. =D

Here's what he saw in the cab. ''The love letter every girl wants.'' The ''Revealing of the bomb''

.
Woah! I spent like one freakin hour loadin the photos . Dont even kow why i decided to blog. Yes, my friend found a new, LV Purse even with a paper bag in the cab... Sometimes you wonder when will you ever get so lucky eh.? HOR HOR?? haha. if i were to find such a thing i'll probably ......
Give it to my mom or maybe a friend of mine who is a girl whose birthday is coming shortly..
But , i will never be as lucky la. Do you think its like a gift from nowhere? Its still packaged with a paperbag and box.
The bad thing is my friend found it with another fren of his...so they need to split the money by selling the wallet.
If you REALLY REALLY like this wallet, den ask me the price. =D.

The same boy you've always known

2006-06-04T05:10:00.000+08:00

Born in the year of 89,
A baby, tears of joy in his parents' eyes.
He had a consience clear like spring,
a castle where he is king.

Grandma was his best friend,his big brother.
or perhaps she's just another mother.
His dad is a discipline master,
his mum, dad's lover , a beautiful pastor.

He learnt much,not all.
Forever is non-existent,and angels do fall.
Pink turned black,
His life , cracked.

In the darkest of all nights,
Standing in the highway,under the street light.
Still , he dosent cry,
He just cant figure Why.

Things dont always stay what they used to be.
My friend may become a enemy,
A sinner may become a devotee
But i'm still me.

I may be slow,
I may not glow,
I will grow old,
But i will still be the same boy you'll always know.

Just a short poem about my life..If you have no clue what is it about go figure it out.

chameleon.

2006-05-19T02:15:00.000+08:00

Polytechnic.Business Studies.TB11.

okok..My school just started recently and i'm feeling sick. People feel home-sick,love-sick, i guess i'm just ''Yiss-sick''. I miss sec school. Those were the times i really felt happy. Aint it wierd, when i entered sec school, i missed primary school...

Emm..Ok, TB11 are great. Awesome.
Friendly people, Helpful people, Humurous people..
I cant find anything i dislike being in 11...

I just feel that i'm in a totally new enviroment as compared to yiss . Its like a chameleon who kept chainging its colour and its realli feelin sick. i try to link with people.... find a comon thing to talk about..make effort...Everyone is new, everyone is trying.

Sometimes i get really tired, really fucked-up ... It really proves that best friends are best friends for a reson..when i'm with the right company.. it felt sooooo niceee.... Speak my mind no one finds it ugly...Tell them my deepest matters it wont even bother me what they will do to me.

I dont really know what am i saying.But in short this is how i am feeling

*A chameleon changes its colour so often that it dosent know what is its colour of origin.*

Sigh.

''Chameleon originally what colour ah?''

If you dont care, why should i?

2006-05-04T00:51:00.000+08:00

Ok, i just went for a mini-class reunion dinner just now.. and of course it was fun,lively full of laughters.. I hoped everyone who went had a good time even though we did not dine at a very posh restuarant and I want to thank everyone for making the time out to come for the dinner.

Personally, 4e2 means alot to me. Great friends, great experience, fun-fucked teachers , and of course the ''dramatic 6'' also originated from 4e2.

Unfortunately, some of the mates i had were unable to turn up for dinner due to work,family BLA BLA BLA. The ones who mother fuckin pissed me off is the ones who just dont give a hoot about the importance of the event. Nono, i'm not saying that its grand, like your grandpa's wedding or anithing.Its just a dinner an event which maybe we could catch up on times or watever. After grad, people were talkin about stayin in contact , weekly meetups,BLA BLA BLA. seriously people, not to be rude but one big ''FUCK YOU.'' People , sometimes for morality sake , please fuckin, i mean PLEASE fuckin keep your word.

Ok , i invited everyone in my phonebook in 4e2 to come for the dinner. Those who were nt invited , my sincere apologies.
First things first , whenever someone texts you and expects a reply, please reply. This is not like i fuckin call you one by one and expect immidiate responses from you people. I know you have your school , your events , your poly friends , your family . The reason i texted is because i want to give you time to think , plan your time and after all that give me your reply.For (whoever you pray for)'s sake , PLEASE FUCKIN REPLY. If you cant make it for some reason, tell me, i wont point a gun at your sister and threaten to shoot her if you cant make it... I texted in the morning , so i expect replies by set. If i didnt get your reply , i took the bloody effort to take my cell and call up some of you. Next time please give me some place in your mind , and give me a response , even if its a moan from the moon. Because if i got no reply, i feel like a homosexual.

Initially , I MEAN INITIALLY , i cant deny that i was quite happy with the response you people gave.. most were straight ''ok''s , maybe few because of the hectic schedule '' cant make it'' or '' need to confirm at a later time''..At the end of the day , i was happy and excited , looking forward to the day which i could see people i last saw ages ago , again.
Then people started to do their trademark, '' put aeroplane''. Seriously , one thing i hate people to do to me is to '' put aeroplane '' on me. This just shows that its not your priority, you dont give too much of a shit , ''go dont go , nevermind one la.. also not important, many people sure never turn up one''.I've take time to ask people out, get the guys , carry out the event , and you just dun give a shit?I guess maybe i shouldnt give too much of a damn. Maybe you hang out with your crew, i hang out with mine, we see each other on the street we give a ''head tilt'', '' where you going ah? '' , '' ok bye'' kind of shit.

Reasons and excuses i have plenty. Lame ones , wierd ones , even fucked-up ones.

"toot , toot ''
Me : '' Ae where are you ah?''
Person : '' Outside''
Me: '' Ae you coming anot?''
Person: '' Huh, when? You all got go ah? You also never confirm''
Me : '' Aiya , just come la..''
...........
.........
Person: '' Cannot la, i'm with my girl. Sorry ah.''
Me : '' Orh, ok loh. Den nevermind loh, Bye Bye. ''

HOLY COW.what.the.fuck?
i never confirm with you? For . ARGH! I am the organizer, i am calling people , you have any enquireries you fuckin ask me. '' When i say go for dinner, and you said ''ok''. Need to confirm what? Not like if last minute cancel , i wont tell you.

Ok nevermind, You tell me '' I'm with my girl '' . Let me tell you, if you had been any closer with me , i tell you the next line you hear from me is ''FREE FLOW OF VULGARITIES + ANGER + TANTRUM + MY FUCKED UP VOICE , if possible MY FUCKED UP FACE.''
Dont you think that you are bloody ignorant? If you have a date tell her you cant make it, you already have another appt. dammit. If its your first date with a girl , tell me , damn i'm straight , i will understand.

Scenario no. 2.
Time.7.10
Me : '' Are you coming?''
Person : '' Ya.''
Me : '' Where are you now? ''
Person: '' Coming out of school already.''

Time :7.20
*1 message recieved
''Ae i'm not coming already, i'm only at ___.''

You make me wanna hold u in the middle of the night, You make me wanna hold you till the morning light.
You make me wanna kill, You make me wanna peel
I make you wanna surrender your balls.

(Peel as in peel your skin.)
Another plain ignorant #%$#%$.

For your son's sake , please make it a point to keep your word. I tell you , it really pisses me off when things like that happen . I dun bare grudges la. ok? Its hard to organise something which requires many people to attend. I dont think i will try it anymore is like playing with fire. NONO, its like playing with balloons, like you keep blowing balloons and it nvr burst.

In the future, if there's anyone else or myself who has a kind heart to take such precious time to organise something, please give your utmost support.

I'm not sure if there's any rifts between any of you people but when you get to meet please for my sake , set the differences aside for the time being and let everyone have a good time.!

Finally, I want to thank
joy.joseph.zhihao.ken.linda.keetat.rueban.junkai.dinesh.sakthi.yongxian and MYSELF.
for attending this dinner.

reuban, i am sorry you nid to leave halfway. nxt time got to leave tell me ma, u missing in action i also dunno.

i am sorry if you find my tone above quite harsh , i WAS quite pissed la.

Fun facts: This idea of a class dinner came to mind when Dinesh and Myself were planning to meet up for dinner one of these days . Then we decided to call more people, then we thought why not try get the class.

tears fall down my eyes.

2006-04-22T04:43:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you cried while watching a movie? I just watched ''crashed'' and i cried like 3 times.ha. You people must think that the show would be a romantic , soapy drama , but instead its just different people going through different kind of lives. The type of biasness, insults 1 have to go thru just because they are different..

Sometimes people arent wat they are. They try to do whats right, act right,.. when it comes to the crunch are you really up for it?
Whereas even robbers, thieves are good. sometimes people dont really get to choose who they want to be.. Bad company, bad town, the chances of you being a lawyer?

Seriously why must we be ____, to blend in?
*The more you hurt others, the bigger your pride will be.'' ->

5 stars for ''crash''.

Humans are UGLY , everyone. So Am I, So are you.

secrets

2006-04-07T05:32:00.001+08:00

Everyone has them you and me,
Some regarding your friends some, your family.
Maybe after beers and rum,
Those heart-capped notes i'll leak you some.

A bottle of notes thrown to sea,
For the sea is your heart.
With trust and hope one will pray,
Those words of notes you'll never say.

Its 5.53am and i got nothing to do so i just wrote a poem and its called ''secrets''. Hoped you enjoyed reading it.

Superhero.

2006-04-01T02:57:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wished you were a superhero?

Last time i thought if i was granted a supernatural power, i wanted to read people minds.
I feel that the human mind is the most complicated thing ever created. The ability to read people minds is like having cheat codes when u play a game... you are bound to win a psycological battle.

I just watched the last episode smallville season 1 . The show is nice.... The last episode was about the dance... just like prom. sigh i dun feel like typin... If you have a lot of free time and you want to watch it tell me gt time i go xfer to your com.

My favourite episode woudl be the ''stray'' . Its about a kid who can hear people thoughts... You thought that would be great isnt it? Instead the parents used him to commit crimes.... And when he read ppl minds and find out that the person dosent like him.. it hurts. Guess the truth hurts everytime dosent it..

I guess no matter who we are we are never happy with it. For example clark kent, he is superman but he said he would give anything to be normal. Though with extraodinary powers he cant do the simplest of things like play sports as he didnt want his school mates to know that he is different.

There's once , he liked this girl. The girl already had a boyfriend. The boyfriend's dad is seriously ill so he neglected her. The guy did not tell the girl about his problems. Because clark kent's eyes cant see through objects he found out that he is carrying medication for his dad thus knowing that his dad is ill. The girl moved closer to clark kent and it was of course his best chance .. once at the barn, the girl asked clark to kiss her.. Though he liked the girl he did not. Will you? I dont know either.

Seems like some soapy drama eh? Dont know why i like it. ha

I KNOW THIS IS A STUPID ENTRY...but whatever. i dont feel liek typin anymore bye.

Where'd you go?

2006-03-11T20:47:00.000+08:00

Hi...this is a song from fort minor..''where'd you go'' wonderful song.. i've added the song to the blog at the bottom...so here is the lyrics..and many thanks to iswandy for introducing me such a wonderful song..

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Hallowe'en with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you'll can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please com

gone.

2006-03-04T02:52:00.000+08:00

hi , this is a song by Jack Johnson. (Gone). He is one of my fav. artists. veri meaningful song...soothing melody...You all should listen.

"Gone"

Look at all those fancy clothes,
But these could keep us warm just like those.
And what about your soul? Is it cold?
Is it straight from the mold, and ready to be sold?

And cars and phones and diamond rings,
Bling, bling, because those are only removable things.
And what about your mind? Does it shine?
Are there things that concern you, more than your time?

Gone, the wind.
Gone, everything.
Gone, don�t give a damn.
Gone, be the birds, when they don�t wanna sing.
Gone, people, all awkward with their things,
Gone.

Look at you, out to make a deal.
You try to be appealing, but you lose your appeal.
And what about those shoes you�re in today?
They�ll do no good, on the bridges you burnt along the way.

Are you willing to sell, anything?
Gone, with your head.
Leave your footprints,
And we�ll shame them with our words.
Gone, people, all careless and consumed.

Gone, gone, gone, everything.
Gone, don�t give a damn.
Gone, be the birds, when they don�t wanna sing.
Gone, people, all awkward with their things, Gone.

Trans-Shit-Link.

2006-03-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

''Sorry, but your card will be retained.''
Ok, i am pretty pissed. I want to whine. I am a fuckin whiner. Dig that.

I went back from bukit timah and i took 157. I paid the student fare of sweeeeet little 55cents. YAY, once again i manage to pay student fare.

At the next stop, the bus conductor came up.
''Shit,i thought....ah..nvm i have an idea.''

WHATS ON MY MIND THEN :
Ok, this isnt the first time i've seen that fuckin bus conductor. Around 2 weeks ago, while i was boarding 157 also..but this time on the way to bukit timah, the conductor asked me for my ticket...Then i gave her, then she asked

''You're a student?''
''Yup''
''Show me your ez-link please.''
''I forgot to bring it out..*Then instead i took out my ic.''
''Sorry,but if you do not have the ez-link then you got to pay the adult fare.''
''Ok, fair enough, i put another 90 cents'' ----> so total i paid 1.45..

Ok my idea was...
''Show me your ticket.''
*I will take out my ez-link card and ticket to prove that i am the student.
She will happily say ''Thank you'' and move on to the next passenger.

This was wat happened
''Show me your ticket''
**I took out my ez-link card and ticket WANTING to prove that i am a student.
* She scanned my card and said '' Sorry your card have expired, I will retain your card and you can call up the Transitlink hotline. Will they decide return the card to you or not , I dont know. ''

WAT THE FUCK. YOU FUCKIN TAKE MY EZ-LINK CARD JUST LIKE THAT..... Seriously, for every guy you caught trying to cheat the bus fare how much bloody commision do you get 10 bucks? 20? 200?... I believe it is none or maybe a dollar?. so i tell you what.. Why cant you be a kind soul and let me pass?? or at most ask me to pay the adult fare? WHY IN THE BLUE HELL MUST YOU TAKE MY EZ-LINK CARD?! Did you know it will bring a lot of inconvience to me? No, i'm sure you dont. You dont even care...what am i to you man.. you have a job to do.. and i am just a fuckin kid wanting to get a cheaper bus ride. You know what, my primary school teacher once taught me '' Do unto people to do unto you. ''

When i was young , my teacher gave each of every students a bookmark which had the words ' Do unto people to do unto you. '' In the past i didnt quite know the meaning of it.. but it is very nice to say.. cause its sounds liek a witch's curse or something...

You know what, maybe someday somone will treat you that way...By then i swear you will finally know how it feels like. I swear i will get a car as soon as possible as i hate these mother fuckin buses. The goverment wants to increase our driving age to 21 .... wat the fuck man. The goverment is clearly taking advantage of us.As singapore is small, you know we cant do without public transport.So the goverment need to make the transport fare so expensive that everytime i top up 10 dollars i can only use it for 1 1/2 week. The goverment gives us the impression that malaysia is trying to sell water to us a very high rate as malaysia sees that Singapore has a lack of water and therefore need water. Arent you doing the same thing to us?

Another thing? Why does polytechnic students have to pay more than Junior colleges in terms of transport fare? Just that because polytechnics school fees we pay do not go to the goverment? or because students in junior colleges have worked so hard for their o levels and therefore entitled to privileges?

If it is because of the school fees we pay does not all go to the local goverment, but then again, we pay taxes dont we? As, we graduate from polytechnics, universities,Whose economy do we contribute to? In singapore , democracy and fairness is one of our main values.

Ok, i've whined finish already. I wont go to jail for this right? I think there's a freedom of speech la..if any one thinks it against the law to write this i must faster delete .. later i go jail then jialat..sian ah..5 days later must call up transitlink to talk to them about my card..don know they will return anot..Tommorow the poly posting, best good luck. Tell me where you went to leh!

oh ya, remeber. when you are lookin out for jobs next time, try not to work as those bus conductors or sar-mun ppl one..you will be an icon of hate to fucked-ups like me. =D

Then again,
I'm still proud of living in singapore. --->''Infer''

Mister. Yup.

2006-01-28T01:23:00.000+08:00

Yap.mr . Hi Mengrong.. thanks for commenting on my blog...its realli nice hearing from you again after you long period of your absent.. True enough i've had my fun for my birthday and prom but without you being involved is still not perfect enough.. I wished you were there.. and thanks for your breif apperance on my birthday and i'm sorry that you had to leave halfway.
You are still a good fren of mine...and i will miss those fun times we had together...Just hope that you will stop thinking that you are difference from me..or whoever... we realli dun giv a fuck about your fuckin academic results or whatever shit.. just have a good attitude with a good smile and a good character...

Talk to me when you have the time .

Rod. =D

Jay O Bee.

2006-01-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

Ahh..finally finished working.. Its been a tough and fun two weeks of promoting Marigold drinks..haha.. Working had been fun... Had some really funny moments and of course i will miss my colleagues as i wont get to see them animore..

We had fun times..bowling .. playing pool 2gether .. laughing at joking together.. Thanks for promoting my drinks.. and also i hope you enjoyed the 7-8 cups of sugar cane juice i bought for you guys as a farewell drink..

AND SCREW THE F&N DOG.

The thing about that dog is ... ok.
1) When i slack he not happi...the boss nvr kp me he go kp me. ( No one say he cannot slack, is he dun wan to slack...cause he's a dog.)
2)He thinks he's so smart...(He always call people dumb..But the boss always call him dumb. Enuff said.)
3)He is a dog.( When it is my job..he helps me. Thanks.)
4) He keeps ordering people to do things.. (''Ae rodney, do this.. No not liddat! Aiya .. you dumb la.)
5) A big FUCK U for throwing my newspaper. FUCKIN SHIT. I WANT TO READ THE MOTHER FUCKIN NEWSPAPER IS MY FUCKIN PROBLEM. You know what he said ''Ae, dun put yr newspaper at my product leh..later people dun wan to buy.. den take the newspaper throw at me once and the floor another time...wtf?)
6) I think if i worked one more day with you i would have fought with you. definetly.
7) Everyone there HATES you...
8) You are so mother fuckin enthuastic about promoting and you dun get a mother fuckin single cent as commison and that's what i call.... hardworking... nono.. A dog.
9)I come late..boss nvr kp u wan kp..Maybe i should get u a bone. so that you will keep your mouth shut and stop barkin.
10) When i called you to buy yourself another drink because i am rushing for a reunion dinner you told me to go buy myself...Even a mother fuckin stranger would say yes..DOG,FETCH A DRINK.

A big goodbye to my colleagues. I've had a fun and enjoyable experience. Thanks for making my virgin job such a wonderful 1. =D

I promise to get u a bitch? Dog

In this diary...

2006-01-09T09:59:00.001+08:00

This is a song by Ataris and its named ''In this diary''
here is the lyrics.

Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
And not a spoken feeling.
I’m knowing that right now is all that matters.
All the nights we stayed up talking
And listening to 80’s songs;
Quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it...

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart
And eventually you’ll finally get it right.

Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
And wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top’s singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
Illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 riverside, it’s time to say, goodbye.
Get on the bus, it’s time to go.

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart,
And eventually you’ll finally get it right.

2005.

2006-01-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

hello.

In 2005 , the december i had was great, absolutely fabulous..Guess its the month that sums up the year..Ha. Does it ever happens to you that even you have absolutely nothing to do on the net you wont blog? I just like to look around people blogs and get pretty disapointed when he/she dosent updates..haha. Nevertheless, i am making the extra effort to blog today!

I'll talk about december in 2005.

29th -- 29th is of course..my birthday. Firstly i want to thank all people who have given presents for the wierdest is from my dad who gave me a 120 dollars ISETAN voucher. and for the best... i shall not say who la..if i say i nxt yr no more present from the rest liao...do i look like a shopper..shopping is a chore, its not really a enjoyment. BUT! when u go buy something for me then it makes me really happy .. haha!! Woah by typing all these i know i'm realli selfish..nvm la..i shall nt change.

On my birthday i also dont really know what we do ... i know i went to joseph house wait for the others come den i and zhenwei all fall asleep.. then after that we go out..den go eat.. but the highlight of the day was when they sang me birthday song in public la.. SO COOL. Zhi Hao sang solo somemore .. nt bad leh.. Nxt time you should sing more who knows got one scout nearby den giv u contract... thanks everyone for singing the birthday song to me.. and also thank you for celebrating my birthday with me . =D I'm finally 16 lo.. YAY.

Pomp Pomp Pomp --Jody said this remember? Prom.
Prom was cool..but seriously the food suck.. I didnt even eat.. don know why the guys from my tables seems to like them so much.. Expensive food dosent means its good ok! i'd rather go have hotplate tofu...that was my favourite dish since young . ha.
Everyone dressed as though its their wedding..its been quite a hassle getting ready for prom .. Ani way i had a rather good time la.. Going up stage i was freakin nervous... I dont really know how i did la.. but i got a short clip leh..thanks to zhijuan for fliming...the best part of it wasss .. .errr.. holding Joy's hand? Hahaha! .. she'll hack me for this. but nvm.. Congrats to ken teo in winning the PROM KING OF YISS 2005! *clap clap* At least my fren won it la.. i'm so proud of him.. budden the PROM QUEEN dunno fall to which unknown. After Prom we went to take photos photos photos photos...i have all the photos wif me liao.. you want ask from me loh..if i mood good i send my mood nt good i dun send lol ..jokin...This event will forever be inside my memories as it will surely serve as a highlight in my teenage life..i don know i'd be seeing the last of how many people at prom but nevertheless, its really been great knowing all of you and thanks for coming into my life.... i'm sure you have impacted me in one way or another.. i'd also like to thank ms widya for the birthday card she wrote. how sweet eh?

Countdown. 31st.
I also don know go where to see fireworks..but its around esplanade la.. Its beautiful.. But its so freakin crowded la.. Watch awhile den finish liao..aiyo. In malaysia can even buy the fireworks and play yourself haha! After that go eat...Wait for cab so long..den i really like pissed offfff.. Thanks to seb mouse and ken lee for letting me board the cab first. they are realli kind ppl =D nxt time gt cab i let u board first loh... After eat..few of them come my house awhile..den i went to slp liao.....

Aniwae 2005 had been a great year...Its one of the best years i've had in my 16 years.. 1999 was also another great great great year.. i shall tell u why sometime later... so long for now. Happy new year. =D.

2006

2006-01-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

hi. What a year! 2005 had been great and it certainly had left me with a lot of memories...

Prom was great , 29th was great , christmas was great. What can i say?

Everybody looked so good at prom..It was really pleasing for my eyes.

Birthday was great , the gifts were great.

Christmas was great cause santa came to my house. (lik real. -)

If you are reading this, i just want to thank you for everything .=D i'll blog later.

Love me.

2005-12-21T02:00:00.000+08:00

hi , this is a song by collin raye. Its called ''Love me''. It was introduced by my dad to me and though i haven hear the song it seems to have beautiful lyircs so here it goes.

I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said," Boy you might not understand, but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didnt like me none, but I loved your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet, and run away together
Get married in the first town we come to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we supposed to meet instead
i found this letter and this is what it said

*If you get ther before I do, don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores all through, I don't know how long I'll be
But i'm not gonna let you down, Darling wait and see
But between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you..love me.

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know  I never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said those words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you... love me

There it is...Hopefully someone can send me the song.=D

My Oooperation.

2005-12-20T17:28:00.000+08:00

hi peeps...its 20th of december and its..5.34pm. I just had my operation.i'm sure many of you here haven been operated on before right?Maybe you want to know about my experience or put it simply, i want to tell you about my experience.ha.I am supposed to want to write every of my classmates a testimonial but i think i'll just forget about it. I dont have the stamina to do so.SORRY.
It was a Monday morning...I woke up to the yellow sunlight glowing on my face. Its been long since i ever woke up that early. 8.30am. My throat was dry and i am thirsty yet i cant drink because i am told to fast the night before and no liquid is allowed in my body from 4am onwards..so my mum and I got down and my dad drove us to the hospital...We did the registration thing.. and i am admitted to my ward. To my surprise/horror/amazement/delight/(watever u name it) i was in the ''children ward''. I mean the whole enviroment is very childish..they have a playground just outside the room..and in my room there are 6 patients and supposingly i am the oldest and that suck...Before i went in my ward i had this strange encounter.... There was this angmoh boy...he was jumping around smiling screaming almost as if he was mad..except that replace the word mad with happiness. The nurses told him to settle down and do his colouring but he iniited on going to the playground and when the nurses refused he cried...Its pretty funny as .. 1 second he is laughing like a madman and the next second he is crying. I dun understand?
The nurses brought me to my bed...I was told to put on the hospital ''pyjamas'' Then i have to go back to my bed to wait for the doctor. That time was around 11 in the morning and i had to wait till 2.30 until the nurse told me to get ready for the operation.i'll tell you about my bunkmates..lol.. i mean other patients in the ward

To my right is this girl..Her name is Yi ting ..I knew that because i stole a glance at her tag..She is ten years old and in primary 4 and i know because her doctor came in and asked her questions which i eavesdropped on.c'mon la..the doctor speak veri loudly la..She is a pretty and young girl...She has those kind of RGS or cresent girls or watever fuckin top girl schools kind of look..she is fairly tanned..bright-eyed..You should know wat I mean if you dont you are either blind or you are gay...When you have such a daughter looking like that at 10 years old .. you know that she is bound for greatness..

To my left is another girl..much older looking girl..maybe in fact as old as i am. She is very sick..every once in a while doctors will come and check on her .. and when i look at her she is sort of always having the ''paralyzed'' kind of look...Her table alot of esscence one..chicken esscence la bird esscence la... nest esscence la..dunno la..I didnt really pay much attention la..since her curtain is always covered...

At my top left is a toddler. He is a malay boy maybe about 1 year old who is still in the cage..i forgot wat u call that ...Around him is always his father .. Never seem to see his mother anywhere around..

In front of me is also a girl..after my op she gone liao..then replaced by one indian boy.

The top right.. is one young boy(like pri 4 that age 1 ) who only came in on the 2nd day.... Then there is one scene veri funni ..On day 2 mah.. we were having breakfast..Then the boy eating then directly infront is the girl and the girl also eating..Then the boy look at the girl and the girl look at the boy and eat..Then the girl lik shy shy 1... When i look at them , i want laugh ..then they look at me.. then i faster go back to my ''eating''. HA!

Back to 2.30 of day 1..... i was told to get ready for my operation la...Do you know it is not easy to get on a wheelchair..The nurse told me to get on the wheel chair mah.. i had to be wheeled to the operating threatre...I got in from the side ma.. i put the 2 arms on the side den i try to lift my ass in..den liek cannot balance cannot balance ... During the time when i was being wheeled inside the threatre i have alot of thoughts in my head la..I quite nervous oso..

Then i was in the Operation threatre...The threatre was big...abit scary also..about 1 and a half times of my room..i was the told to lie down on the operating table loh..then the doctor or nurse say wan to make me sleep..then inject the needle into my wrist...then let me breathe some air..den there i go ..i blacked out.

After the operation i was semi-concious la.. i dont even know where am i.. i only know the operation is over...Then he served me food..porridge .. It suck la..barely edible..I told my dad to buy from outside gimme eat..wah tt one thousand times better....soon my parents left the hospital la..then i am suppose to go to sleep but then i couldnt sleep la.. alot of thoughts in my head..then the girl beside me..(the sick one) the light keep on in the middle of the night one..she must be damn sick la..somemore my ear painful so abit hard to sleep loh..but eventually i got to sleep la..

I morning wake up eat friend noodles..OH YAH, the nurses ask me what food i want i said western they served me malay and chinese food never serve me western food one ...mad nurses ..lol no la..they damn good...the doctors came in the morn to remove the head bandage..Then later the doctors come to pass me the medicence and wanted to tell me what to do with it i told her i couldnt hear and tell her to tell my parents but then my parents not around..sometimes it seems when you need your parents they are never around .. when you dont need them they keep on want to tell you they are around..?

ok la..i am now deaf..i can barely hear a shit...so if you want to talk to me you got to write on a piece of paper .sorry for the inconvience. In conclusion , in the hospital you get treated like kings ..except that there will be minimal pain.

My clock stopped at 2.26.

2005-11-17T06:00:00.000+08:00

hi there... I AM PISSED , I AM MOTHERFUCKIN PISSED. You know why? It is because before this post i have written a post of about 10000000000000000 words and it cannot be posted for dont know wtf reason den i need to re-type everything again.WHAT THE F&N. we love food and nutrition it has vitamins and minerals and soils.

Okay, i obviously would not want to re-type everything that i have just typed cause it would be lame.I want to be a cool-kid and i would not want to be lame.Cool kids have hot babes around them, lets join the cool kid clan. ''Yo , wassup dude? How'ya doing.Check out this bomb dude, her name is Kukimula(some fuckin black name la.u know black name veri special one..but i haven comepleted my lessons on '' How to be a cool kid in 10 days '' )I found her at the basement outside my grandma house she was begging me to stuff some white curry powder up her fuckin nostirls and down her fuckin throat.

*Background*
Kukimula starts lickin me and starts messing my hair a little shaking my head . Stop. '' I SAID STOP U M*THER sweet cutie pie.'' Lets take a walk to the road and u shall pratice your catwalk on the white lines in the middle of the road. I then shall see your super-dooper-mooper-boooper-looper-zooper-qooper-wooper-rooper-tooper-yooper-pooper big ass gets rammed by a cewl SUV ( SPORTS UTILIATED VEHICLE ) *BHAMMMMMMMMMMM * that will be the proudest moment of my life. =D

*The above characters are all fictionous and any resemblane to any characters in reality is purely concidental''

okay,okay enough crappin. My clock stopped at 2.26 am. Luckilly its not 3 la. i thank god for that.Emm..i woke up around 5 because i slept at ard 8.30 the day before. Took poa paper yesterday ...didnt expect to do tt well la..sian my heart pain . later ard 2 thats the mcq paper. i will do my ulti best. okay.. i gonna get back to studying . bye.

34.

My clocked stop at 2.26.

2005-11-17T05:55:00.000+08:00

2005-10-26T00:27:00.000+08:00

hello.